eyes opened wide.

a string of texts i wrote at 4AM when i had the flu

Autor admin | 08.10.2011 | Category Uncategorized

You see a cute baby and you’re like, “awwwwww.” You step in some dog shit and you’re like, “awwwwww.” This is why “awesome” & “awful” are so confusingly similar yet different.

Adolescent = Adult Lesson. … Parent = Pay Rent. … Adult = A Dolt. … Amigo = I’m ego. … I Miss You = I’m is you.

I want to live in a house that has an “upstairs” without having a “downstairs.”

Often when I cant sleep it’s cuz Im desperately trying to SEE the inside of my eyelid. Totally serious.

from smallest to largest, a “second” comes first, but the word “minute”, means small & “second” means 2nd.

If the “best man” is the “best” man, why doesn’t the bride ever marry him? He’s clearly the 2nd best man.

The word “budget” is actually two words, “bud” and “get”, or to a pot smoker, “get bud”, cuz that’s what their “budget” is for. & “laptop” backward is “potpal”.

The fact that we translate foreign countries’ names is DUMB.. like, in spanish, they’re like, “Our country is called Espana.” And we’re like “OK yeah, Spain.” Why dont we just call it Espana? Why make up a new word for it? we don’t bother to come up with a new word for croissant or armoire or burrito or pajama, but we’re like, “No no, it’s not Deutschland, it’s Germany.” The hell?!

Elephants are the only animals with 4 knees. That’s tremendously funny to me. There are SO MANY kinds of animals. & SO MANY of them have legs & knees. But not4.

the fact that we universally use the term “sun rise” & talk about it alll the time, yet it’s something that DOES NOT HAPPEN is awesome. The sun does not move ha

the word “my” is what gets us in trouble. Imagine if I cared about ‘life’ as much as I care about ‘MY life.’ Or if I cared for ‘friends’ as I do ‘MY friends’.

“I’m USED to” doing something means it’s something you currently have a familiarity towards. But if you “USED TO” do something then you don’t do it anymore. Eh?

the fact that “imaginary numbers” exist in math curriculums is ridiculous. They’re like “This is a nonexistent fictional entity. Learn its rules & applications!”

Clearly the male libido was poorly constructed. Overpopulation is inevitable. We want to procreate every few hrs. Humans should have a different mating schedule.

What does ‘park’ mean? For something to be placed somewhere & it doesn’t move. The big green grassy place with trees really needs to be specified as immobile?

Who wrote “Till death do us part?” Awful grammar.